The FlipFlopper: And Youtube Land Fred etc
by lilly1720
Summary: Can you ever imagine what would happen when Edward is Bella and Bella is Edward? Well for some odd reason they go to youtube...idk! SO GIVE ME REVIEWS OR DIE! I say PEACE IF U REPLY!
1. Chapter 1

The Flip Flopper….

It was 3 am and I couldn't concentrate on anything and my "brother" Emmett kept bothering me. "Em! I can't concentrate, Shhh." I said.

"Well why? You can just read my mind." He told me.

I went to the piano and played a song. I composed it for Emmett. It was just some notes band together that made no sense at all. I called it, _Retardo in B flat._ From the big living room I could her Emmett burst in laughter from what I played.

"Ha, you are really good at the piano Bella!" he burst.

"Wouldn't you know? I wrote it for you." I scoffed.

Soon after that I felt the cool breeze from Alice come by. "Hey Bella what's up?" she asked.

"Nothing," I replied and went to read her mind, "Yeah he is a big fat monkey." I chuckled.

"Come on, I have to show you something." And we ran ever so lightly to her room.

"I had a vision, this guy," she said, "not the Volturi." She quickly added.

"Good, than who?"

"His name is Edward Mason."

"Well who is he?" I questioned.

'He's moving from Phoenix, I can tell you and him will be close."


	2. Chapter 2

The next day at school I could see him. He smelled so great and juicy. HE had and old car and looked large, but week compared to me. We shared bio.

At lunch I could see him sitting with all his peers, Eric and Ben. I heard his thoughts, Mikes in particular:

_Jesus that Bella girl is soooo hott._ I heard_ and oh my goddess I want her so bad._

If I were human I think I would vomit!

"Who is she?" Edward asked.

_The hottest girl who ever lived. Oh what are you wondering about my love?_ Mike thought.

"Oh she is so weird. Her and her "family" is like together." Eric said.

"Like…" he trailed off.

"Well the pixie, Alice, is with that guy who looks like he's in pain, Jasper." Eric explained.

"And Rosalie, who's a bitch, is with the wrestler dude named Emmett." Mike explained.

_But Bella is open and I can't wait to be with her! _Mike thought.

"Wait, aren't they siblings?" Edward question. I tried to get his thoughts, but Mikes where so loud! I felt like telling him to think quieter but I would look like a total freak. Finally Mike shut up, but I couldn't get to his thoughts, like he had some sort of shield.

"Huh, Bella trying to hear what the humans think? I can guess, oh poor Bella she's so ugly." Emmett teased.

"Oh shut up Em. I can read your mind." I pointed to a girl in a tube top, "You think she is really sexy." I said.

Just than Rosalie slapped him in the face and got up. "I am going to the bath room, c'mon Alice your coming with." Rosalie shot a face at her.

_Gezz_, Alice thought.

"You know I better come with." I got up and we went to the G hall bathroom.

"I can't believe you said that to Emmy!" Rosalie said.

"What? All I did was read his mind!"

_Right now we need Jasper._ Alice thought and started tapping her foot with her arms crossed.

"No we don't Alice. We can solve this by talking. The worst that will happen is if Rose decides to kill me." I said.

"Maybe I will."

_She's such a bitch!_ Rose thought.

I hissed at her and yelled. "You know your mind is not safe with me around!" I hissed.

"Guys, someone's coming." Alice said.

We quickly went throw are pointless bags to find our lipstick and applied it leaning over the sink.


	3. Chapter 3

"So we settle on this." Rose started, "you don't mess with my Emmett and I don't act like such a bitch."

"Okay. But promise me not to think so loudly." I said.

"Um someone's coming!" Alice said, "And they're going to talk to us."

"Oh great." Rose said barely screaming.

Just then the door opened, it was Jessica. "Hey."

_Oh no not them, the creeps._ Jessica thought.

"Hey Jessica." I said.

"Hey, isn't that new kid dreamy?" she said putting on lipstick.

"Yeah I guess, but I'm not interested." Alice said, "I already have Jazz."

"Who?" Jessica questioned.

"Jasper."

"Oh."

"Well bye, I have to go um slap Em on the face." Rose said.

"Me too."

"Well I came in here to tinkle, bye" the human Jessica said. Personally I didn't like her.

I came out of the bathroom and sat next to Alice. I tried to concentrate more on Edward's thoughts but I couldn't, this was nothing like I encountered before. The bell rang so I got up and went to bio class.

He stepped in class and his hair was blowing. He smelled great. Why was the window open? "Hello." He spook softly.

I covered my mouth pretending to sneeze. "Are you okay?" he asked.

''Yeah just fine." I stuttered, "Excuse me."

I got Alice and went to the bathroom. _What? Oh is this about that boy?_ Alice thought. _Knew it!_ And she chuckled.

"Okay what is it with him? He is so frustrating I – I can't read his mind!"

"He has to have a shield. Something like that… or maybe you can't read his mind. It'll give you something to think about at night."

"Yeah, maybe your right.

_I am Alice, always right. _She wrinkled her nose, _or maybe I'm speaking for Rose? _

"Your speaking for Rose, she thinks she's always right at least." I said, "Anyhow, what did you see in that new kid?"

"You will become really friendly with him and fall in love." She spokes, "he'll know everything."

"Will he expose anything?"

"God I hope not. And I can tell the future…no!"


	4. Chapter 4

I was at home again. Nothing worth talking about. Okay I did nothing at all last night. I played _Clair de lune _again and wondered about Edward. So strange.

I didn't go to school for a few weeks, I was hunting. Carlisle told me not to wonder too much and lay low, listen to Alice. I went to school and tried to act somewhat normal…

**Okay stop for a second…**

This is supposed to be like Twilight, 

Just backwards. But I am changing it 

Around a bit. This is what may happen

If Bella went to talk to Edward in texting

Land. Okay. 

First the questions for Mike Newton…

Q. 1.

If you had to choose any girl (to be with) in the grade who would it be? Answer in a complete sentence form.

Well to start off, um dah! Bella, Bella, Bella, Isabella Swan!

.

Q.2

If you could thank anyone in the world, who would it be?

I would say, um, Charlie and Renee. For bringing Bella into the world! You could say I'm obsessive, is that a bad thing? .

Q.3

If you could kill anyone in the world, who would it be?

Bella's future husband, if not me. .

. 

Your Name Mike Newton Your grade B-__ for not answering Q.2 in a good sentence!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part II

Texting Buddies!

Edward Cullen – 958-338-2278

Bella Swan _ 982-872-0092

Code names-

Edward Cullen- Edward

Bella Swan – Bella

Edward- hey

Bella- hi WATS up?

Edward- nothing

Bella- oh well what is Alice up to?

Edward – no good.

NOW ENTERING. EMMETT

Emmett- hey big bellas

Edward- r u calling her fat?

Bella – *** sigh **I am not fat!

Emmett- really? R u sure?

Bella- yeah I think I am!!!!

Edward- wanna play a game?

Emmett- sure

Edward- what would you do if I told you Rose was fat?

Emmett- laugh

Edward- okay… y?

Emmett- cause she is!

NOW ENTERING ROSE

Rose- how could u?

Emmett- how did u find out?

Rose- Bella told me!

Bella- hey ▌

Edward- the perfect crime.

Emmett- Bella's is a scank!!

Bella- what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emmett- ur a scank!

Edward- I will kill u!

Emmett- oh I don't think Carlisle will think very positive about that. Lol

Edward- how so!

Emmett- because… um

Rose- a smile banner? How like u.

Emmett- hey we are together, go get me the clicker football is getting boring.

Rose- go get if urself you big fat monkey.

Emmett- hey I can live forever, a dumb monkey cant.

Bella- hey expect someone on soon…

NOW LEAVING CHATROOM. BELLA

NOW ENTERING CARLISLE

Carlisle- hey what r u doing? Clean up the house. Esme told u 2!

NOW LEAVING EMMETT

NOW LEAVING ROSE

NOW LEAVING EDWARD

NOW LEAVING CARLISLE

Part III


	5. Chapter 5

"Okay class." My bio teacher said.

Of course it was my luck to have Edward as my lab partner.

"That's anaphase." I said quickly after looking in the microscope.

"Mind if I check?" he asked.

"Sure, whatever but I am always right."

"Sure." He murmured and looked at the anaphase, "yup."

"Hey, how come you never say anything? I mean you were gone for weeks." He said.

"Well, I was on a trip…" he cut me off in mid sentence.

"Yeah hiking. I know."

Bio was over.

"Hey I thought your eyes were brown. Now there all like goldish." He said.

"Yeah it's the um, the lights."

"What?"

"My eyes can um, never mind." And I walked to the bathroom.

I arrived and put more brown contacts in. Just than Jessica walked in. Again…

"Hey are you like putting in contacts?" she asked me.

"No I just had a eye lash in my eye."

_Creep, why don't you tell me? I am a trust worthy Jessica._

"Well I have to go now."

"I know your secret." She said, I paused.

"What secret?"

"Let me take a skin sample."

_Maybe I'll kill her today._

"Don't even think about it sister."

"All I want is a skin sample?" she spook, "are you made out of stone of something?"

"Goodbye Jess." And I hit the door open and almost broke it's hinges.

_Thank god class is over. _Alice thought.

"Ugh tell me about it."

"Well everything. I wanted to warn you about Jessica but I was in English and you were in gym."

"Damn." I spit, " she came into the bathroom and wanted a skin sample, called me a creep, well thought it, and than she wanted to kill be, well before that she told me she needed a skin sample?" ugh that was a mouthful.

"Stock goes up, invest in Verizon stock." Alice said, "oh sorry about that. Wow my visions must be off. Verizon! Ha!"

"No! What is with Jessica!"

"I don't know!"

The next day of school came and Edward and me talked a bit more. Oh this might be a few days. Oh what no!

It was freezing cold and icy to a normal human and the parking lot was covered with a layer of ice. I was outside of my car chatting with Alice and making laughs with Emmett.

"Hey, you look white!" Emmett joked.

"Ha ha very funny."

"Scank."

"Bastard."

"Thank you so much!"

"You are so very welcomed."


	6. Chapter 6

After yelling at Emmett and talking to Alice, which you figure is like my best friend, I started to focus on Edward. Was Alice right? Then I saw Tyler and his big blue van.

_Oh no. I should have told Bella! _Alice thought.

"What? Told me what?"

"It's Edward. The van is going to hit him!"

Tyler started to veer into him, so I very quickly showed up and stopped Tyler. His heart started to race.

"What? Is that a dent?" he asked in a daze.

"Oh that no! You should go to a hospital."

"Oh no. I don't." he pushed me and got up.

"C'mon."

"Fine." Emmett stared at us and whispered to Rose,

_Ha poor little human, a girl rescuing him. How embarrassing. And of all people Bella. Such a crime._ Emmett thought.

We arrived at the hospital but Carlisle wasn't there. I couldn't read his mind. Instead we arrived in a weird land called, _Youtube._

The first place we visited was called _Potter Puppet Pal, And the Mysterious Ticking Noise._

_What is the mysterious ticking noise?  
not over here.. not over there...  
its kinda.. catchy.._

_Snape, Snape, Severus Snape_

_Snape, Snape, Severus Snape_

_Dumbledore!_

_Snape, Snape, Severus Snape_

_Dumbledore!_

_Snape,Snape,Severus Snape,_

_Dumbledore!_

_Snape,Ron, Snape,Ron, Severus Snape, Ron Weasley_

_Dumbledore!_

_Snape,Ron, Snape,Ron, Severus Snape, Ron Weasley_

_Dumbledore!_

_Snape,Ron,Hermione Snape,Ron, Severus Snape, Ron Weasley, Hermione_

_Dumbledore!_

_Snape,Ron,Hermione Snape,Ron, Hermione Severus Snape, Ron Weasley, Hermione_

_Dumbledore!_

_Snape,Ron,Hermione Snape,Ron, Severus Snape, Ron Weasley, Hermione  
Harry Potter Harry Potter Ooh! Harry Potter Harry Potter Yeah Harry Potter Harry Potter Ooh! Harry Potter Harry Potter That's me!_

_Dumbledore!_

_Snape Harry  
Snape Harry  
Snape Harry  
Snape Harry  
Snape Harry  
Snape Harry  
Snape Harry  
Snape Harry_

_DUMBLEDORE!!!  
...Hermione_

_Dumbledore!_

_Snape,Ron,Hermione Snape,Ron, Severus Snape, Ron Weasley, Hermione  
Harry Potter I'm Harry Potter I'm Harry Potter Harry Harry Potter_

_All: Singing a (our?) Song All Day Long at Hooooooooooooogwarts! Yeah!_

_Ron: I found the source of the ticking! Its a Pipe Bomb!  
ALL : YAY!!!!_

_Voldemort song:_

_*evil laugh*_

_Voldemort, Voldemort, ooh volde- volde volde_

_Voldemort!_

"What?" Edward asked.

"It seems that we've been transported to Harry Potter land?" I tried to answer his question.

"Oh no an intruder!" a boy by the name of Ron said, "Yes we are not dead." He was burnt.

"Now little dudes, this is called a dubie it helped me survive the blast."

"Oh can I have one?" Ron asked.

"No! Only the chosen one can."

"Aw." He sighed. We started to back up as Harry and Dumbledore lit their _dubie._

When we left the puppet place we seemed to end up back in the land of Youtube.

_Purple Unicorn: Hey, Charlie Hey Charlie wake up  
Pink Unicorn: Yeah Charlie, You silly sleepy head wake up!  
Charlie: Oh god you guys. This better be pretty freaking important. Is the meadow on fire?  
Purple Unicorn: No Charlie, We found a map to Candy Mountain. Candy Mountain Charlie!  
Pink Unicorn: yeah Charlie were going to Candy Mountain come with us Charlie.  
Purple Unicorn: Yeah Charlie! It'll Be an adventure! Were going on an adventure Charlie  
Charlie: Yeah, Candy Mountain right I'm just gunna you know go back to sleep now.  
Purple Unicorn: NOOOOOOOOOOO!! Charlie!!! you have to come with us to Candy Mountain  
Pink Unicorn: Yeah Charlie, Candy Mountain its a land of sweets and joy! and joyness!  
Charlie: Please stop bouncing on me!  
Purple Unicorn: Candy Mountain Charlie!!  
Pink Unicorn: Yeah Candy Mountain  
Charlie: Alright Fine!! Ill go with you to Candy Mountain!  
Purple Unicorn: LA LA LAAAA LAAA LAAAL LA ALAAA  
Charlie: Enough with the singing already.  
Purple Unicorn: Our first stop is over there Charlie!  
Charlie: Oh god what is that!?!  
Purple Unicorn: Its a Leoplurodon Charlie  
Pink Unicorn: A magical Leopleurodon  
Purple Unicorn: Its gonna guide our way to Candy Mountain!  
Charlie: Alright Guys you do know that there is no actual Candy Mountain right?  
Purple Unicorn: SHUN THE NON-BELIEVER!!!  
Pink Unicorn: SHHHHHUUUUUNNN  
Purple Unicorn: SSSSSHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUNNN!!!!!  
Charlie: Yeah??  
Leopleurodon: (funny noises!)  
Purple Unicorn: It has spoken!!  
Pink Unicorn: It has told us the way!!!!  
Charlie: It didnt say anything!  
Purple Unicorn: Its just over this bridge Charlie  
Pink Unicorn: This magical bridge of hope and wonder!!  
Charlie: Is anyone else getting like covered in splinters? Seriously guys we shouldnt be on this thing  
Purple Unicorn: CHARLIEEEE, CHHHAAAARRRLLLIEEE, CHAAARRRLLLIIIEEE, CHHAAARRR  
Charlie: Im right here what do u want!?!?  
Purple Unicorn: Were on a bridge Charlie!  
Pink Unicorn: Were Here!!!  
Charlie: Well what do ya know? There actually is a Candy Mountain!  
Purple Unicorn: Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain You fill me with sweet sugary goodness  
Pink Unicorn: Go inside the Candy Mountain Cave Charlie.  
Purple Unicorn: Yeah Charlie! Go inside the cave. Magical wonders are to behold when you enter  
Charlie: Yeah Arrrr Thanks but no thanks im gunna just stay out here.  
Pink Unicorn: But you have to enter the Candy Mountain Candy Cave Charlie!_

_Candy Mountain Song:  
Oh when youre down and youre looking for some cheering up  
Then just head right on up to the candy mountain cave  
When you get inside you find yourself a cheery land  
Such a happy and joy filled and perky merry land  
Theyve got lollipops and gummidrops and candy things  
Oh so many things that will brighten up your day  
Its impossible to wear a frown in candy town  
Its the mecca of love the candy cave  
Theyve got jellybeans and coconut with little hats  
Candy rats, chocolate bats, its a wonderland of sweets  
Buy the candy train to town and hear the candy band  
Candy bells, its a treat, as they march across the land  
Cherry ribbon stream across the sky and to the ground  
Turn around, it astounds, its a dancing candy treat  
In the candy cave imagination runs so free  
So now Charlie please will you go into the cave?_

_Charlie: Alright fine!! Ill go into the freakin Candy Cave! This better be good!  
Purple Unicorn: Goodbye Charlie!  
Pink Unicorn: Yeah, Goodbye Charlie!  
Charlie: Goodbye What?!?!?! HEY WHATS GOIN ON HERE!?!? hello? Who is that? Ow! oh god!  
What Happened? argh! They took my freakin kidney!_

"Hey guys can you help me?" The unicorn named Charlie said.

"Um no…? We are leaving now! How convenient!"

"No, no, no, guys please!!!!" he pleaded.

We backed up and ended in the real world again… "Oh thank god." I sighed.

I heard a pipsqueak voice come and Edward and me shrieked.

"Ah!!!! Who the hell is that?"


	7. Chapter 7

Okay.............

We really weren't in the Real World again...but in a cave....

As it turned out the pip-squeak voice was a slug like creature. It was greenish in color and Edward squeaked.

"Shit, hell, crap!" he screamed.

"What the f*** are you?" i asked.

_Hummm, who's your little sexy pig over there...damn I can't say that..! _He thought...is he gay????

"Hello.... why are you in Charlie the Unicorn land?" he asked..._and whom is that SEXY little devil of yours?_

"We got thrown in here for some reason..." I said.... sexy little devil... and the sexy little devil is my friend... and I think he's mine.... you freaking gay wad.

"Well do you want something to drink?" he asked.

"Um, no thanks."

He moved over and touched Edward's face.... "Your skin is so fine." He said, "So smooth...come with me," he said.

"I think not..." I said and I moved between them, "he's not GAY!" I almost screamed.

"What! I may be attracted to men, but I like woman too."

"So your bi-sexual?"

"NO! I'm not a man and a woman!" he slithered over.

"Do you know the meaning of bi-sexual?"

"Yes, I thought I- " we cut him off.

"You can 'be' with men and woman."

"At the same time?"

"NO! I mean you can like you know.... with men and woman and enjoy it." Edward said.

"Hum, what about you both?"

"NO way you freaking perv."

"Bye." We said and ran away.

...

"Hi and welcome to the Miley and Mandy show...." a girl with a nasally voice said.

"We're possibly the most slutty people in the world."

"Oh my god! I've been on birth control since I was 6!" the girl named Mandy said.

_I think I've been on it for 18 years._

I butted in the conversation, "You looking like your 16 or 17."

"I _had _a twin brother.... Mandy I thought you knew."

"I didn't say anything Miley."

"What then who were you talking to?"

"Me." I said.

"Who the hell are you..."

"Hey fellow watchers your AWESOME role models are here telling you to go.... or stay to watch the interesting people be pulled out by the police."

"Whom are you talking to?" I said.

"Fellow watchers." Miley said.

"OMG is the band coming????? My dad loves them!" Mandy said.

"No you idiot." Edward replied.

"Hey.... sexy devils." The slug said.

"I think you should go..." Edward said.

"I'm working on my being a normal bi-sexuality!" the Slug said and stared at Miley and Mandy. "How would you girls like to meet me at my hotel room... how much do you cost per hour?"

"There not prostitutes slug thing!"

"Oh.... judging by their apparel...."

"I' am going to call my Uncle..."

"Is he bi-sexual too."

"No! He's the chief of the freaking police! And if Disney finds out that I wear apparel that's not Disney there going to ruin my reputation by getting me pregnant!"

"We should go than...."

" Thanks.... you may possible be the most normal one's in the room..." Mandy said.

"But you're so pale." Miley said....

"BECAUSE SHE'S A VAMPIRE!!!!!" the slug thing screamed.

"A what!!!!!!" Edward, Miley, and Mandy screamed.

I jumped on them and twisted their necks and killed them and wrecked their computer.

Edward stood there and his face turned pale and he fainted...

"Oh shit!"

................................................


	8. Chapter 8

................................................

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

Edward was having a panic attach...

He was lying on the floor singing, "la la la lala laaaaa la!" like he was demented. He was rocking on the floor in the fetal position.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

" Is the bi-sexual slug still here."

"No, and you didn't hear anything." I assured him.

"The hell I did!" he got up on his hands.

"ummm....."

"so you can read minds and stuff like that???? Tell me!"

"Wow how'd you know."

....................................................

"Hi it's Fred!" a high pitch voice said, "and today Judy didn't reply to my mails again!!!!! And she got a restraining order against me!"

"Damn that sucks." Edward said.

"Who are you? Did the squirrel turn into a human?"

"No...."

"Omg your pale!" he screamed, "Judy said that pale people are vamps."

"YOU MUST DIE!!!!!" said the slug.... _I shall guard you wherever you may go... like a knight!_

"Are you a slug? What stop the video.... this isn't an act."

"Finally someone understands." I breathed out.

"I' am so sorry but your Slug is offly sexy.... I'll give 5 bucks."

"You can keep him for free!"

"He's bi-sexual too.... no refunds." Edward said.

His eyes rolled in his skull and he made andohhhh' noise and put his hands together and slipped down into a chair.

.................................

"No Brian don't!" a talking baby said.

_I think I' am gay for Brian.... _ The baby thought.

"Where are we?" Edward whispered...

Well everybody's heard about the bird !  
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !  
[repeat]

Everybody's heard about the bird !  
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !  
[repeat]

Don't you know about the bird?  
Well everybody's heard about the bird !

Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !  
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word ! Yeah !

Well everybody's heard, about the bird !  
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na  
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Everybody's heard, about the bird !  
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na  
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Everybody's heard, about the bird !  
Everybody's heard, about the bird !

Don't you know about the bird?  
Well everybody's heard, about the bird !

Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !  
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word ! Yeah!

SURFIN' BIRD!!!!

Well everybody's heard, about the bird !  
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !  
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !

Well everybody's heard, about the bird !  
Yeah everybody's heard, about the bird !  
Everybody's heard, about the bird !

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na  
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na  
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

Don't you know about the bird?  
Well everybody's heard, about the bird !

Bird bird bird, the bird is the word !  
Bird bird bird, the bird is the word ! Go!!  
(Claps)

Everybody's heard, about the bird !  
[Repeat 8 times]  
Yeah!!!

Everybody's heard about the bird !  
Everybody's heard about ... bird !

And than he had a spasm....

"Oh my god Peter are you okay."

Then he spassed out again...

"Hello... are you a vampire... I love evil things!!!" The baby said, "Please bite me." He tilted his head and pointed to the spot he wanted to be bitten at.

"I'll be killed for making an immortal child."

"An immortal sexy child." He said, " so!"

"No!"

"Well I really would love to take over the world... and what a deliciously evil thing to do... right!!!! I just adore you."

"Well do you want to join us? I assume that you would need a brake from this family." Edward said.

"Yes!!!!!! AND CAN YOU KILL MY MOTHER!!!!!!"

"We don't eat people...." I said, "I mean only mean, and you don't want to experience the pain of the transformation."

"Hey, I did long division in my mother's womb. I think I can handle the pain."

"What's that have to do with anything?"

"Just to say... I mean I' m not really a child.... If I' m already at a 7th grade smarts I wouldn't consider myself a child.... must 7th graders have zits and stuff right? So there more so like teenagers!"

"Your only 1 little child."

"Oh please call me Stew..."

"Hey Lois I think I just farted out my intestines! Can you help?"

"That's the fat man." Stew rolled his eyes.

....................

"So can the whole family understand you or just the dog and us?" Edward and I asked.... well mostly Edward.

"Ya know I don't really know...." He said. "Some episodes like Jillian can under stand me.... and that guy at that restraunt."

"Jillian?"

"The dogs ex-girlfriend."


	9. Chapter 9 Salad Fingers

.............................

SALAD FINGERS CAN SCARE A VAMPIRE!

**...................  
**

**If you ever saw Salad Fingers you would laugh out of total creep outing... this is the story of the encounter of Stewie, Bella, and Edward... when they run into salad fingers...**

"**Hello friends..." A man said.**

"**Hello mister." Edward replied.**

**"Excuse me but do you have a rusty spoon?"**

**"A rusty spoon? What the duce is wrong with you man?" Stew said.**

**"You look like you can reach for the fish! It's deep in the oven." **

**"Do I look tasty to you?"**

**"You sure look like your very juicy." **

**"And I think you should put some ointment on that cut."**

**"But I like it when the red liquid comes out." He said sitting.**

**"Is something burning?" Edward asked.**

**Stew sniffed in, "Is that human?"**

**"Stew! How do you know what burning human smells like?" I asked.**

**His face flushed, "I just do...."**

**The man with salad fingers got up and showed Edward his cut, "It will make the fish taste better.... please be my tester?" he looked at me and stock his finger in my face, I didn't have to hold in my urge to kill him because he was a cartoon, 2D and he had salad blood, "How does salad bleed?" Stew asked.**

**"I don't know." The salad man said and opened up the oven. "Oops...." he said, "Well I guess we aren't having fish." And he brought out a tray with a little boy on it.**

**"Is that human?" I asked.**

**"It has a rather different taste than fish and I don't feel like running out to the super market... and I' m already in my jammies." He said and placed the child on the table and cut into the person.**

**"How deliciously evil." Stew said and put his fingers together and his eyes widened in jealousness.**

**The boy instantly deflated. "Oh I guess I over cooked him.... drats."**

**We backed away slowly scared that one of us may be the next victim... of SALAD FINGERS...**


	10. Chapter 10

.............................

"Okay was I the only person not totally creeped out by that guy?" I asked.

"That guy? That thing!"

"I thought he was rather interesting." Stew said.

"How?" I intervened.

"Because how often do you run into something that eats your species.... it's an interesting experience."

"Well not Bella's" Edward chuckled I glared at him. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

"What.... so you ARE a vampire."

"I guess." Suddenly we were home.

"Oh crap.... do you have busses that go to Rhode Island." Stew asked.

"I don't know?"

"We live in Forks."

"Shit can I like live with you?"

"I don't care!"

THE END

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